What not to wear on a sunny day in the Netherlands

The Shallow Man is still shocked by the beautiful weather we’ve had in the Netherlands recently. Even more shocking for me was on Sunday when walking from a fantastic lunch at the Dylan Hotel (thanks again, Kevin) in the Jordaan, I saw the following. A Dutch lady in a hockey outfit, complete with a short skirt and hockey stick, climbed onto a bike that looked as if it was way too big for her. She mounted the bike like a cowboy getting on a horse, putting her white granny knickers on full display as she climbed on. She was directly in front of me, so sadly, there was no way of not seeing this. My lunch almost came back up. It was an unpleasant sight. This brings me to the subject of today’s post, what not to wear on a sunny day in the Netherlands.

The lovely Michelle Brons of Zaandam, a like-minded individual,  has inspired me to write this post with her scathing comments about the way some people are dressing when the sun is shining. If my comments and observations upset you, please email me at [email protected] where your complaints will be filed in an environmentally friendly fashion. The things I do for my readers!

Optimism and classiness are alive and well in the Netherlands

Proof of this is evident on any sunny day here. Witness the number of ladies wearing hot pants with almost everything on display. Some ladies are squeezed into their hot pants like commuters on a train in India in the middle of the rush hour. Who says that the Dutch don’t have anything in common with the British?

Self-cropped hot pants (2001 3 207)

I’ve cropped my shorts. Now time to hop on a bike.

Hotpants comparison

More free space than the contents of some Dutch hotpants


The Shallow Man can’t decide what he finds more disturbing, the constant sight of adult men and women in birkenstocks makers of modern clogs and sandals, who ironically are a German firm. Or the sound of flip-flops worn by men that can’t be bothered to lift their feet properly when they walk.


Lekker stylish hoor!

People are confused by the weather

While standing in line for ice cream the other day, the Shallow Man witnessed everything from people wearing heavy jackets and cowboy boots to others in sleeveless tops, flip flops and shorts. A fashion tip, most men over the age of forty can’t pull off wearing shorts, wear something light instead, chinos, for example.

Avoid the tyranny of the driekwart broek

Sorry chaps, but the three quarter length trouser looks pretty damn ridiculous. Unless you’re planning to join the French foreign legion, I’d think twice before putting them on

driekwart broek

Trousers fit only for the French foreign legion

The weather is nice but wear a bra

I’ve lost count of the number of nipples poking through tops. I’m tempted to ask if they can pick up Radio London. Despite the Shallow Man’s love for prominent boobies, Kim Kardashian is not a role model. Wear a bra, actually on second thoughts….

Hopefully, the fashion tips of the Shallow Man will help make so many people in the Netherlands easier on the eyes during these hot summer days. No braless and talentless reality TV “stars” were hurt during the writing of this post.