The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man

Simon Woolcot began his journey as an expat eleven years ago, when he arrived in the Netherlands for what was supposed to be a six-month assignment.

Flash-forward and this oblivious Brit with a taste for fine dining, tailor-made suits and womanising received a challenge in self-reflection from his friend Anna, who kindly phrases his existence as “living the equivalent of a worm’s grave” (read: extremely shallow). Her idea is that Simon will only realise the hollowness of his life if he writes it down. Thankfully, for the enjoyment of the reader, that’s exactly what he did.

About the book

Taking place from June to July, the book is written in the form of a diary and divided into seven thematic sections according to sin: lust, greed, gluttony, envy, sloth, pride and wrath.

Within these chapters, Woolcot hilariously recounts his adventures in dating Dutch women, romps in sex clubs, poignant observations on daily dilemmas that come with living in Amsterdam (how to catch those bewilderingly smart Dutch mice anyone?) and wider cultural trends (like clues for judging contacts via social media platform “Stalkbook”). Through his personal vignettes and keen cultural perception, the witty, sarcastic and absolutely comedic tone shines.

The frustratingly funny nonchalance of Woolcot encourages the reader to love-to-hate-to-love him. His exploits are entertaining, his narrative voice remarkably perceptive even as it is colloquial, and the subject matter undeniably relatable to expatriates, the Dutch and visitors alike.

The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man makes is the perfect book for anyone who has experienced or is curious about life in Amsterdam and the expat social scene!

The book can be ordered from or Amazon

Portrait of the shallow man

Portrait of the shallow man



Click here to buy a copy of the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man available from and of course Amazon.




Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man

Warning, this book contains sarcasm