expats in the netherlands

Recommended Sites and Services For Expats

January 26, 2017 By Simon Woolcot

Recommended Sites For Expats in the Netherlands

I’ve put together this list of recommended sites for expats in the Netherlands as I’m often asked to recommend good sites for expats. So below in no particular order is a selection of the sites I myself visit on a regular basis. This is not a complete list, and I’ll add to it as time goes by, but here are the ones that leap out at me like a pair of Uggs on a winters day.

Empower Consulting

If you’re an expat looking for coaching or career advice these guys are great. They’re all expats too and provide quality services.

https://empowerconsultancy.group

International locals Amsterdam

A very useful site with listings for all kinds of businesses and events in Amsterdam

https://internationallocals.nl/

Style Me Green

This site is all about sustainable fashion and all the latest fashion trends in that area. Written by the super talented Victoria Onken, she also regularly models repurposed clothes and shows how to make a new look from old outfits. ?https://styleme.green/

The Yoga Therapy Institute

If you’ve thought about becoming a Yoga instructor then this is the place to go to get certified.

Expat Property

Zuska is a VBO certified real estate broker and is an expat dedicated to providing property rental and buying services for expats.

Iamsterdam

Like white sneakers worn by Dutch ladies in summer, this site is pretty hard to avoid, and why would you? The official site of the city of Amsterdam has not only vast amounts of municipal info, but also guides to museums, galleries, and the bustling bar and cafe scene in Amsterdam.

Expatica

The first website I read when moving to the Netherlands. It’s still going strong and is full of useful info for expats.

Invading Holland

The very first blog I ever read when I moved here, and still as hilarious as seeing a group of identically dressed Dutch ladies at a bar. Invading Holland follows the adventures of an accident prone expat and his attempts at integrating into Dutch society. A fun read.

The Dutch Review

Ok, I’m a little biased as I have contributed articles to this site in the past. Featuring articles mainly written by expats but also Dutch locals, the Dutch Review is always an interesting read.

How To Buy A House In the Netherlands

Local experts in the real estate, legal and property market get together for events for expats looking to buy a home in the Netherlands.

From Annoying Blogger to Amsterdam Vlogger

August 27, 2015 By Simon Woolcot

From Blogger to Amsterdam Vlogger

At the time of writing this, my blog has been around for two years. As I’ve stated before, the purpose of my blog, like the BBC is to inform, educate and to entertain. Some might?add an additional purpose, which is to annoy, something I’ve certainly been successful at.

My blog has always been nothing more than the observations of a shallow and sarcastic man about life in the Netherlands. The idea to call myself the Shallow Man came from a very serious and bitter ex-girlfriend who said to me “you know you’re the shallowest man I’ve ever met.” How I laughed. I was amazed that she actually did have a sense of humor, which was seriously lacking during our time together. Inspired by her comment, I decided to call myself the Shallow Man.

Two years of?blogging the highlights

There was obviously a gap in the market for sarcastic observations of life in the Netherlands. There are many expat bloggers out there, and hats off to them, most of them are so polite about life here. I was amazed that none of my fellow bloggers had focused on some of the things I noticed every day in the Netherlands.

Dutch fashion sense (flat shoes, denim and lately holes in the knees of jeans)
- The Seven Deadly Sins of Dutch Fashion
Dutch tolerance (Don’t mention the Piets or why so many Moroccans and Turkish people are unemployed
The Dutch dating scene (where the antelopes hunt the lions)
Dutch directness (tell it like it is, even when not asked)
Dutch sororities (learn how to roll those R’s)
Dutch female emancipatie

ripped jeans — The Amsterdam plague of knees

Dutch fashion — Jeans and Birkenstocks, loved by the Dutch. She’s painted her nails so is probably a foreigner

Anouk hid her terrible secret from the rest of corpsmeisjes

Time to vlog about Amsterdam

I’d been considering making the move to video for some time. It’s clear that attention spans are getting shorter, and that you can get a lot more across in a five-minute video than a 1000 word blog post.

I’m pleased to announce that the Shallow Man series of Vlogs (which sounds like a naughty word) will now be available on the?Makers Channel?as well as on YouTube.?Please subscribe to see exclusive content, which I can promise will be every bit as annoying as my blog. Some of you have been following me since the beginning and I thank you for this ?and hope that you’ll continue to do so on my other channels too.

Below are some of my most popular videos to date, plus a trailer for my next video which will be all about the things that you really shouldn’t say to Romanian women in Amsterdam.

Dating Dutch women a survival guide part two

No wearers of Birkenstocks were hurt during the writing of this post.

Until next time, follow the Shallow Man on?YouTube.

The Seven Levels of Dutch Fashion Hell

April 16, 2015 By Simon Woolcot

Dutch Fashion Hell the?Seven Levels

After delivering the seven deadly sins of Dutch fashion to my readers, the Shallow Man thought?that it would be wise to keep a low profile. I decided to stay in a part of Amsterdam that no one in their right mind spends too much time in, Amsterdam North. This was a terrible mistake, as being exceptionally well dressed, I stood out like a Dutch woman in a cafe wearing high heels and not smoking.

I was grabbed by a group of angry PVV voters, led by Holland’s top fashion blogger, Monique de Saai, of the appalling blog, My Little Black Dutch Fashion Book and Me. Laughing at my predicament, she shouted “welcome to hell Shallow Man. You’ve offended lots of well dressed Dutch people.?We Dutch are the most stylish people IN THE WORLD. There are seven levels to being fashionable in the Netherlands, and I intend to take you through them.”

To be fair, I wasn’t surprised that hell is located in Amsterdam North, it makes perfect sense actually. Gripping my arm she guided me through the seven levels of Dutch fashion hell.

Now, this post might annoy some, and if as a result I’m captured by the organizers of Amsterdam fashion week, who then force me to sit through catwalk displays of all of the latest Dutch fashion trends, I’ll say to my detractors. “If your objective was to scare the life out of me, congratulations, you’ve succeeded. I have a phobia about skeletons, and I see that you’re using them to model your clothes.”

The things I do for my readers!

1.?From Guantanamo Bay to the Netherlands

Upon arriving at the first level, I saw a sight, so disturbing that like a Dutchman left to pay the bill on a first date, I screamed in agony. Stood before me, was a Dutch lady, Femke I think her name was, who was dressed from head to toes in a denim jumpsuit. I tried to shield my eyes, but my captors wouldn’t allow it. Laughing, Monique said to me, “before you is a trend that is really in this year in the Netherlands, the jumpsuit. Inspired by the outfits worn by prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, we’ve added our own Dutch twist to it, and you’ll be seeing women all over the country dressed like this.”

It was already too much for me. “I’m so sorry” I moaned, really, I’ve had enough let me go please.” Ignoring my cries for mercy, she took me to the next level of Dutch fashion hell.

Dutch girl style the jump suit — Hideous beyond words, and visible all over the Netherlands

2. The flat shoe?chamber of horrors

The next level was a large room, full of flat shoes. ?”Shallow Man, you know that we Dutch girls are so stylish that we don’t need to wear heels to look good. As most of you expats know, we already look down on foreign men. We are so tall that we don’t need heels to do that, so what’s the point??You’ve also got to remember that most Dutch men don’t like high heels, so why bother?

Dutch fashion hell flat shoes — The best selling women’s shoes in the Netherlands

3. The?Sweat Shop

As I was led to the next level, I feared what horrors awaited me. I entered a huge room where I could barely see ahead of me as it was so filled with cigarette smoke. Long rows of tables filled the room, at which sat lots of young Dutch women. The noise was unbearable, and I could see that there were piles of jeans into which the ladies were making holes. “What’s going on?” I asked, not sure what I was witnessing.”What you see here is a production line for making ripped jeans. Lots of Dutch girls are too slow-witted to think of buying a normal pair of jeans, and making the holes themselves. So in this room, we make ‘designer’ ripped jeans. Retailers can?charge over a hundred euros, just for taking a pair of scissors to denim. Ongelooflijk!

4.?The boot chamber of horrors

As I arrived in the next chamber, Monique gave me a lecture. “To be a truly stylish Dutch girl you need to own three types of boots that go together just like tinder, casual sex, and regret, yes I’m talking about the following:

Cowboy Boots
Ugg Boots
Doctor Martens

“I’ve read your blog, and there’s nothing wrong with wearing any of the above. What matters in the Netherlands is comfort, not how things look. I read your comment about seeing?a Dutch woman in a cafe, proudly wearing her cowboy boots and you asked her, “is that your horse outside? be careful, as I’ve seen a FEBO van parked nearby, you don’t want it to end up in a kroket.” Such comments are uncalled for Shallow Man.”

cowboy boots — Anouk’s boot collection was a bit shocking for her expat boyfriend

Scientists have proved a link between paying too much for coffee and wearing offensive boots all year round — Scientists have proven a link between paying too much for coffee and wearing offensive boots all year round

5.?In hell you need hotpants

By now, I was weary, I could barely take any more. But as a German waiter once said to me in Munich, when I asked him where my order of sausages was. In broken English, he responded, “I’m so sorry Herr Shallow Man, die Wurst is yet to come.”

The voice of Monique de Saai, took on a hysterical high-pitched squeal, worse than sitting next to a group of Dutch sorority girls in a bar, as she told me. “I’m so excited to say that hot pants are definitely in this summer. Not only for wearing at?the beach, or while cycling so passing men can’t get a look at your?granny panties. They also are ideal for wearing?in the office. In fact, I once wore a pair?to my previous job, and when my manager made a comment about them not being appropriate for work, I said to her:?”Wat zeg je??I thought you were from the US, not IRAN! It’s because you’re not Dutch, so you don’t understand that we’re emancipated here.”

“Hotpants can be worn at all times, in fact, I’m going to my Oma’s funeral tomorrow, and will wear a pair of hotpants. In black, to show some respect.”

Dutch girl style — How to look good in Holland this summer

6. Floral patterns

I suspected what the next level would hold, and I was right. Like a Dutch person at a music festival, I had the sensation of having a bad drugs trip, as I entered a room full of clothes with floral patterns. Leggings, trousers, tops, skirts, were all covered with flowers. It was too much for me. Witnessing and enjoying my pain, my captor spoke. “The Netherlands is famous for its flowers. Every stylish Dutch girl knows that walking around looking like the Keukenhof in full bloom is the trendy thing to do. If you combine the floral print with a nice denim jacket you’ll look incredible!

Stylish Dutch girl in floral leggings — Horror beyond words!

7. In the pits of Dutch fashion hell, there can only be

A room, lined with mirrors, which I could barely see, as there was no electricity as such. In front of each mirror sat a woman, each with a hairstyle more horrendous than the next. They sat there, in the dark, with scissors, clippers, and fruit bowls on their heads and cut their own hair.

“Yes Shallow Man, in Latin this level is described as the ‘overthirtyandsettleddownatorium’. The place where women style their own hair. Remember that we Dutch women are emancipated. So as soon as we’ve found a man that can afford to allow us to work part-time, we start cutting our own hair. At this point, it was too much, and I screamed and passed out.

The first thing men look for in a woman, is she comfortable?

No Guantanamo Bay prisoners?were hurt during the writing of this post

Till next time houd je snavel!

The Dutch Elections 2017 What Expats Need to Know

March 17, 2015 By Simon Woolcot

The 2017 Dutch General Election

Unless you’ve been living in a cave, (no offence to my readers in Afghanistan hiding from US drones), you can’t but have noticed that the 2017 Dutch general election?will soon be?taking place.

Dutch politics, are complex, challenging, and often completely contradictory. Not unlike Dutch women.?So once more, fulfilling?my stated remit, to inform, educate, and entertain, the Shallow Man will provide a brief guide to the 2017 Dutch general election and some of the political parties?taking part.

Now this post might annoy some, and if as a result I’m captured by members of the Dutch Partij voor de Dieren (party for?animals) and am forced to listen to long lectures about the?challenges facing the animal kingdom, I’ll say to my captors, “sorry folks, but the only animals I like are served up on a plate, preferably in a Michelin star restaurant with a hot lady?sat next to me”.

The things I do for my readers!

The 2017 Dutch general election

If you’re used to the endless rounds of discussions that go on in Dutch organisations, prior to decisions being made,?then the proportional representation (PR) system used in the Dutch electoral system, won’t?surprise you at all.

A skeleton — I was young and in the prime of my life when this meeting began

Proportional Representation

PR, or as it’s better known, ‘cluster f**k’, works as follows. If one?percent of the population votes for a particular party, then that’s the percentage of?seats that will they’ll receive in the Dutch parliament. One of the consequences of proportional representation, is that?it leads to lots of small political parties, often with extremely narrow or controversial objectives participating in Dutch elections.

I recall that a few years ago there was even a party that wanted to make sex with children legal at the age of 12?which planned?to run for election.

If you can come up with a theme that is likely to be popular with a relatively small selection of the population, then you can form a party, and end up with a chance of winning a seat or two in the Dutch parliament.?The minimum threshold to be elected to the tweede kamer, is a staggeringly low?0.67% of the total number of votes.

For example, if I could get enough people to support me, I might start the party for sartorial elegance, whose policies would be to ban the following:

Ugg boots
Brown shoes (worn with anything but brown suits)
Birkenstocks
Wet hair on?public transport
Wearing sneakers with dresses
Leggings worn as pants
Denim at funerals, weddings or Michelin star?restaurants

It would also?ban?”pittige kapsels”, and holding hands?while cycling on bike lanes.

It’s virtually impossible for a single?party to win the 75 seats required for an outright majority in?the Dutch parliament.??For this reason?coalitions are usually?required to form governments. Below is a list of some of the main parties taking part in the 2017 Dutch general election.

Volkspartij voor Vrijheid en Democratie (VVD)

The VVD is the?party from which?the current prime minister, Mark lord of the jellyfish Rutte is a member of. This is the party of accountants, lawyers, dentists, and entrepreneurs. Mark Rutte’s political speeches have been known to drive his opponents, people, and pets watching him speak on TV,?to suicide.

suicide cat — If Mark Rutte doesn’t stop speaking…

Partij voor de Dieren (Party for?Animals)

I once wrote that the Netherlands is a doggy paradise on earth, so I’m surprised that this party aren’t already in power. The Partij voor de Dieren, probably have the most honest manifesto in the Dutch elections. This is a political party that is?one hundred percent for the rights of animals. They are against goldfish being held in captivity, an issue that has often kept me awake at night. They are also against animals being kept in zoos, which could spell the end of Cafe Bubbels? the Cooldown Cafe?and several other hot spots in Amsterdam.

They also support mixed marriage, as in humans marrying dogs, cats, horses etc. It might surprise you to know that marriage with animals is currently not recognised as being legal in the Dutch courts, but this could change if the Partij voor de Dieren win enough votes. This will make lots of owners of Pit Bulls and Mastiffs very happy to have legal recognition of the relationships that they value above all else.

Love and dogs — “Yes she can be a bit of a bitch, but I love her, which is why I vote PvdD”

Partij voor de Vrijheid (PVV)

In Orwell’s 1984, the Ministry of Peace, practiced war, and the Ministry of Love focused on hateful propaganda, which brings me to the PVV, who have ironically chosen the name, the party of freedom. In fact, one of the core freedoms, guaranteed in article one of the Dutch constitution is the freedom to practice any religion, something which the PVV agrees with, as long as your chosen religion doesn’t happen to be islam.

Geert Wilders, the dictator, sorry leader of the party, appears to hate muslims with such a passion, that I can’t help wondering, if perhaps a Muslim once stole his bike. Maybe this explains his never ending anti-islamic rants.

Dutch elections are great for far right parties as the PVV might win — If it’s good enough for Geert

The party mainly stands for the following:

Hatred of Muslims (particularly Moroccans)
Leaving the EU
Hatred of Eastern Europeans, particularly the Polish
Keeping Zwarte Piet black
Kissing Donald Trump’s orange tanned buttocks

Intolerance is fashionable in the Netherlands at the moment, which explains why his party is currently ahead in the polls. At the time of writing, not a single major political party has agreed to form a coalition with the PVV if?they win the largest number of seats in the 2017 Dutch general election. Without the support of the other parties, Geert Wilders will not be able to become prime minister.

Geert Wilders likely winner of the 2017 Dutch general election — The most liberal man in the Netherlands

Staatkundig Gereformeerde Partij?(SGP)

The SGP could also be described as the original doe maar normaal party. They are orthodox Protestant Calvinist. What a mouthful, (something which their female members wouldn’t know anything about, as they are?so religious.) Nationally they are pretty insignificant, but have a loyal and some might say fanatical following in the bible belts of the Netherlands.

This is a party that has much in common with the American religious right. ?The SGP until recently, (2006) didn’t even allow female members. Why any woman would want to join such a party is beyond me. That would be like the Shallow Man, fighting a court case to force?the Klu Klux Klan to allow black members.

The SGP’s goal is to force a theocracy?on the Netherlands, and rule by the bible. They firmly believe that men and women are not equal, (as per the bible) and oppose feminism and freedom of religion. The SGP are the original religious crusaders.

The Crusaders 1977 — The soul group the crusaders who had nothing to do with the SGP

50 plus

The Shallow Man originally thought that this party was for people with a larger waist size, but has since learned that they stand for people over the age of fifty, as well as the clinically obese. Their main platform appears to be about pensions, and issues that affect the old, such as the price of botox, collagen, and ethnic minorities moving into their neighborhoods.

botox party — Lowering the price of collagen?the 50 plus party

Democrats 66 (D66)

The party of the chai latte drinking classes. They’ve done a great job in Amsterdam forcing cafes to start serving caffeine free latte’s for children. They’ve also been instrumental in ensuring that cyclists in Amsterdam remain firmly above the law. In fact it’s only a matter of time before they invoke legal?immunity for cyclists, so that they can’t be fined for running over children on pavements.

This is a party that truly understands the needs of its voters, including insisting that every resident of Amsterdam South has a legal right to at least two places serving smoothies?within three minutes walking distance. They are also asking for the introduction of bakfiets?only bike lanes.

Bakfiets riders have trouble turning rrrrrrrroound corners

Other parties participating in the 2017 Dutch general election

Groenlinks (The Green Left Party)

Romantic, idealistic, perhaps even a little naive, but their hearts are in the right place. Like the Shallow Man, they also support recycling, which enables me to recycle this already notorious joke. Two pigs were out jogging, when one suddenly starts screaming. “What’s wrong?”. ?To which the other pig replies, “it’s my hamstring.”

Christian Union

Conservative, religious, not to keen on the European Union, and as old fashioned as asking a woman out for a date without using an app. If you’ve been on holiday and returned with a suntan, they might not be too keen if you wish to join their party.

Socialistische Partij (Netherlands) (SP)

This party could be summed up as the ‘we used to be communists, but when that no longer worked we adapted and are now just socialists.’

Artikel 1

If there are any children nearby, pull them away from the screen. I’m about to mention the Netherlands most hated woman, Sylvana Simons. The fact that many Nederlanders hate her with the kind of passion that Dutch people usually reserve for telling their friends how much money they saved by buying a cow instead of cartons of milk from the supermarket.

That they hate her so much?has nothing to do with the fact that she’s black. It’s that she’s a minority and has the nerve to discuss racism in the Netherlands, which of course doesn’t exist. Discrimination?only occurs in the USA.

There’s more chance of a Muslim becoming a candidate for Geert Wilders party the?PVV, than her?winning enough votes to enter the Dutch parliament.

Dutch tolerance HR quote — The head of HR at a major Dutch organisation was not pleased with Sylvana Simons

To Summarise

Proportional representation is in many ways extremely democratic. It allows smaller parties a chance to be represented in parliament, and forces compromise and consensus, something that’s definitely missing ?in the American? and UK form of political governance.

In the Netherlands, every vote counts, so if you’re a naturalised expat, please get out and vote in the 2017 Dutch general election.

No chai latte drinkers were hurt during the writing of this post.

Till next time, rot op met je chiazaad!

Stuff Dutch Men Hate

September 30, 2014 By Simon Woolcot

Stuff Dutch Men Hate the Top nine

The Shallow Man believes in equal opportunities for all. Having written about stuff Dutch people hate, as well as stuff Dutch women hate, It’s only fair that I turn my attention to Dutch men. In order to avoid the inevitable accusations that I don’t know what I’m talking about,?I’ve reached out to my Multikulti flock and asked them for suitable suggestions on the stuff?Dutch men hate. I’ve been inundated with so many suggestions that I couldn’t possibly fit them all into a single post, so will use only a small selection of the observations?contributed by my fabulous readers.

Now my post might annoy some, and if as a result I’m captured by a group of angry Dutch men, who force me to eat slices of bread covered in hagelslag, and then force me?to?wash it down with a glass of milk, I’ll say to my enemies, “jullie zijn toch volwassenen, waarom eten jullie als kinderen?”. (You’re grown men, why do eat like children?).

The things I do for my readers!

Dutch hagelslag — Perfect lunch for grown men

1. Stuff Dutch men hate above all else black Shoes

Until I moved to the Netherlands, I?thought that blue suede shoes was the title of an Elvis Presley song. How wrong I was. Dutch men, in spite of not being too keen on non-western immigration, happily?embrace all possible colors when it comes to shoes. In fact, if you take a train into Amsterdam Zuid or Den Haag Central station, you’ll see shoes with more shades of brown than an open?sewer. Dutch men hate black shoes as they have the same effect on them as a crucifix to a vampire.

Dutch men hate black shoes — “Keep those black shoes away from me, nooooooo!!!”

2. Not receiving sex as a sign of gratitude

Second on my list of stuff Dutch men hate?is an issue that appears to be quite common.

To my female expat readers, if you must live here, you’ve got to learn Dutch normen en waarden (norms and values). If a Dutch man does any of the following for you, the normal way of expressing gratitude is to offer, rampant, ear bleedingly loud, passionate sex.

He spent precious time and petrol money, driving 1.6 kilometers out of his way to take you home
He paid the bill on the second date, the entire bill!
He walked you home at one am, and you live in a dangerous neighborhood (he spotted some brown skinned folks walking around)

Not reciprocating with sex in the situations outlined above, will anger your Dutch date, and might contribute to the ending of what could have been a beautiful one night stand.

Woman at Febo on a date with a Dutch man — Traditional local place for a first date with an urban Dutchman

Stunned looking squirrel — “Je bent een high maintenance woman, kijk mij niet zo aan!”

3. Foreigners that give themselves fancy airs and graces

A Dutch man suggested this. What he means by foreigners that give themselves fancy airs and graces, are people that behave as follows:

Opening doors for women
Saying please and thank you
Leaving generous tips in cafes and restaurants
Giving up your seat on public transport?for pregnant women or the elderly
Not shouting about how many orgasms you had the previous night into your smartphone while on public transport
Washing your hands after using the toilet
Wearing a suit to a wedding as opposed to a pair of old jeans and a moth eaten jumper

Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg!

washing hands — What a waste of time, doe maar normaal!

4. Hair without gel

A Dutchman leaving the house without hair gel being applied is like a Dutch woman that doesn’t have sex on?the second date, pretty bloody rare. Dutch men spend far more time in the bathroom getting ready than their female counterparts. The objective is to?look just like a cross between a nineteen eighties footballer and Macgyver.

New Kids publicity photo — Trendy modern Dutch male hairstyles

5. Germans

The second world war was a long time ago, we’re all friends now right? Wrong! Dutch men have no problem with Germans most of the time, but when they have the bloody cheek to win the world cup, (again), ?all of the anti-German sentiment comes rising to the fore faster than getting an erection every time they check their bank balances.

Suddenly comments about returning their grandpa’s bike, or “how does a German open an oyster? They knock?hard on the Oyster’s shell three times and shout “AUFMACHEN!”.? Once the shell is open the German then says “AUSWEIS!!!”.

6. Paying the bill on a date

I’m conflicted here, as, on one hand, I’ve received lots of messages from women who tell me?that Dutch men always ask to split the bill on the first date. I’ve also received a few messages from angry Dutch men, telling me that it’s not true. The truth, as always, is somewhere in the middle and in fact a major cultural misunderstanding. Dutch men are happy to pay the bill on the first date, as long as you make it clear that at some point in the near future, (preferably the same?day) your legs will spread easier than margarine on a boterham. Problem opgelost!

Sad Dutch man — “Thirteen Euros and fifty ?spent on a date, and no sex!”

7. Women driving expensive cars

Nothing angers some?Dutchmen more than seeing a woman driving a car more expensive than their?own. This will lead to such pleasantries as?”kijk uit je domme trut!” and other choice words not used by gentlemen, without any provocation whatsoever. Guys, some women are smarter than you and I, and are able to earn more money, get over it.

woman in luxury car Dutch reaction — “I bet her husband bought that car”. ?No she’s just smarter than you are

8. Buying flowers

Globalisation is changing good old fashion Dutch traditions. It used to be that in the Netherlands, men would only buy flowers after they’d euthanized their Grandparents. Unbelievably, Dutch women, are now starting to expect flowers on February the 14th. That’s a stupid tradition thought up by foreigners and brought to the Netherlands so that foreign companies can get their hands on the hard working Dutchman’s money. Some women even expect flowers, just like that, FOR NO REASON! Ongelooflijk!

Stuff Dutch men hate buying flowers — “She wants flowers, FOR NO REASON!!!”

9. Stuff Dutch men hate dancing

Dutch men don’t dance. In fact, the only time they feel comfortable dancing is when high on ecstasy or dressed up as Zwarte Piet. If anyone needs evidence that ZP is indeed, truly not meant to be a black man, just look at the video below. No brothers have ever moved like that. Instead of all of the pseudo historical arguments about traditions, I suggest that the supporters of Zwarte Piet simply show the video below as evidence that he really does have nothing to do with black people at all.

To summarise the stuff Dutch men hate

The key to success when dating a local lion is to avoid doing the things that Dutch men hate. So remember to insist on eating at FEBO on the first date, pay the bill, then invite him home for sex. Romance is alive and well in the Netherlands.?Enjoy!

No women driving expensive cars were hurt during the writing of this post.

For more shallow Wisdom check out my YouTube channel.

Till next time hou je mond!