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The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man

The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man

Life in the Netherlands Through the Eyes of a Sarcastic Expat

mice

A very late christmas present

By Simon Woolcot Leave a Comment

Balon 43

Having escaped the clutches, tensions and obligations of family for another year, the shallow man was pleased to be returning to my bachelor paradise in Amsterdam. I was full of anticipation of booting up the Playstation and causing random chaos (UPC permitting) on GTA V online. Was also looking forward to sitting on my oversized leather sofa with a glass of Licor 43 in one … [Read more...] about A very late christmas present

Update from the Amsterdam mouse catcher general

By Simon Woolcot 1 Comment

Update from the mouse catcher general Living as I do in Amsterdam Zuid, and knowing how spoiled and privileged the mice in this part of the city are I prepared a mouse trap with some good quality Parmesan cheese. Positioned the trap in front of the hole that mice appear to use like cyclists tearing through the tunnel under the Rijksmuseum (without texting) and went to sleep … [Read more...] about Update from the Amsterdam mouse catcher general

The Mouse Trap and How to Deal With Mice in Amsterdam

By Simon Woolcot Leave a Comment

Poor Dutch service leading to mice being caught in my apartment

  One normally peaceful man, who has often been compared with Mandela, the Dalai Lama and Gandhi driven to fight a war with invaders. The comparison with the above figures is usually along the lines of "you are so annoying that even Gandhi would lose his patience and punch you." For the second night running, I was able to set a trap and kill another mouse. Even if you … [Read more...] about The Mouse Trap and How to Deal With Mice in Amsterdam

In Amsterdam I’m normally a lover not a fighter

By Simon Woolcot Leave a Comment

However, everyone has their limits. Even the most peaceful of men can be driven to murder. I tried to do what I could to resist man's primal urge, however I had to defend my property from invaders, squatters and thieves. Why should I stay awake at night afraid, listening for the sounds of intrusion? Why should I spend time looking for evidence of unauthorised entry to my … [Read more...] about In Amsterdam I’m normally a lover not a fighter

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