Having escaped the clutches, tensions and obligations of family for another year, the shallow man was pleased to be returning to my bachelor paradise in Amsterdam. I was full of anticipation of booting up the Playstation and causing random chaos (UPC permitting) on GTA V online. Was also looking forward to sitting on my oversized leather sofa with a glass of Licor 43 in one hand and the company of a warm antelope in the other. The former African despot, Idi Amin was a cruel tyrant in his time but did say one thing that I agreed with. “There’s nothing colder than a house without a woman in it.”

A tyrant and a philosopher

A tyrant and a philosopher

Licor 43

A neighbor had kindly given the shallow man a bottle of Licor 43 for Christmas, along with the cocktail recipe below, which I planned to try out on the next Antelope to wander into the shallow man lair.

Balon 43

How to warm up an antelope


On the evening of my return I was expecting the company of a stunning, but rather cold Dutch antelope so was planning to execute a couple of Licor 43 cocktails accompanied to the music of Miles Davis and John Coltrane. Also had the heating turned up to 22 degrees, something I know would lead to me failing any Dutch inburgering cultural integration test, as everyone knows that Dutch men tend to complain if the heating is set to above 19 degrees in winter.

A pleasant surprise

I’d unpacked, and as I was expecting company, decided to go to the heating closet to take out the hoover, when I saw that Santa had left me a pleasant surprise. Peanut butter has two good uses, adding extra energy prior to a long distance run, and for tempting mice to put their heads in traps. Needless to say that the shallow man has now ordered the services of a pest control firm to seal any holes that are allowing mice into my bachelor pad. So fear not Antelope, the shallow man bachelor paradise is mouse free.



Christmas present

A mouse was hurt during the writing of this article.


The Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man is available from Amazon and BOL.com. and also the American Book Center in Amsterdam.