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The Shallow Man Guide to Dating the Dutch

The Shallow Man Guide to Dating the Dutch

During my time in the Netherlands I’ve had a couple of serious relationships, and I’ve also spent plenty of time here as a single man. The dating history of the shallow man could be described as follows:

  1. Attempted to charm leggy, hot looking Dutch girls, with generous bra cup sizes and had as much success as a Rabbi at a Moroccan speed dating event.
  2. Decided to invest my efforts in chasing beautiful Russian girls, had more success than Jerry avoiding being captured by Tom.
  3. Learnt to overcome my aversion to denim and more importantly, learned to read the tell tale signs, body language and keys to successfully dating the badly dressed, but hotter than the midday sun in Dubai, Dutch women.

If you are sitting down, I’ll share another secret. Inexplicably, during my time here, I’ve also managed to climb the social mount everest and have made friends with the Dutch! They have also filled me in on various aspects of their incredibly complex dating culture.

The shallow man has been in the wilderness, climbed mount not so bloody obvious, and has returned with tablets, not written in stone, but on rock hard, typical Dutch white bread on which are written the secrets of how to date the Dutch. The things I do for my readers!

This essential guide will provide information on the following subjects.

Online Dating

All you need to know about the Dutch online dating jungle. Tales from using Relatieplanet, Lexa, Expatica dating and several others.

Tinder Dating App

The shocking truth about using Tinder. What can you expect? Are workouts of the tongue guaranteed when hooking up with a Tinder date?

How to Hunt Dutch men

Advice on how to hook up with the world’s most spoilt men when it comes to dating. Techniques to use to not think of Simba when running your hands through their lion like hairstyles. Why Brown is the new black. How to lay back and think of bitterballen.

How to be Hunted by Dutch women

The essential bait needed by men to be hunted down by the ferocious and unforgiving, dominant and loud Dutch female.

Banner Lassus

Gold Diggers, how to spot them and avoid or date them (if you must)

Everything you never wanted to know about Gold diggers in the Netherlands.

Simple cooking recipes for impressing your Dutch date out of their denim jeans or brown shoes (or both)

Dolly, from Dolly’s dish will be advising on the right love food for your first home dining date.

This and much, much more can be found in the shallow man guide to dating the Dutch. Coming soon.  Click here to join my mailing list to be informed of the release date, and a chance to win some prizes, including details of the forthcoming shallow man combined speed dating and book signing event.

 

Dating the Dutch
The only guide you’ll ever need

No single people were hurt during the writing of this post. For more shallow wisdom buy the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man from Amazon and just to prove that the shallow man is integrated into Dutch society it’s also available from BOL.com and the American Book Center in Amsterdam and Den Haag. You say Haag I say Hague.

 

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self-confessed Shallow Man. Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam since 2004. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands. He also works as a content marketing and SEO specialist.