A wise and modest man (Simon Woolcot) once said, “once you reach the age of forty, you’ve met every type of person there is.” The Shallow Man stands by this statement. During my time on this planet, I’ve realised that the more people I meet, how similar they are to others I’ve met before.  This is probably due to the fact that all of us fit into one of the four personality types, which brings me to the subject of today’s post.

 

The four personality types:

All of fit into the four personality styles shown in the diagram above. The Shallow Man will map the personality types to people I’ve met during my time in Amsterdam.

Analytical personality type

Analytical types are constantly assessing, determining pros and cons, making lists of to do items. Analytical types are constantly asking questions, almost to the point of getting too much information. Source: 

Columbo would be a good example of this personality type.

Gold diggers, ladies that can often be found in many of the chic bars in Amsterdam, fall into this category. They are easy to spot as their line of questioning tends to make one feel as if you’re applying for a mortgage and filling out a credit worthiness questionnaire.

“What do you do for a living?”

“Do you own your own home?”

“What type of car do you drive? How old is it?”

“Where did you go for you last holiday?”

“Do you own any stocks?”

Perhaps if the banks had hired such ladies as risk analysts, the credit crisis and subsequent recession wouldn’t have occurred.

 

Driver personality type

“Drivers are very strong personalities. Typically they have a go-get-it-done or whatever-it-takes personality. They can seem very dominant and are quick to take action. The negative is they can sometimes come across as stubborn or arrogant.” Source: 

The above personality type can commonly be found in Dutch women in serious relationships. Their poor partners don’t stand a chance. The bossy Dutch woman will attempt to take over her partners life. “What do you mean you’re going out for a drink with your friends on Friday August the eighth? Check the calendar on the toilet wall. I’ve booked out the entire time with visits to my parents, my friends and my colleagues. You have some free time on December 24th between one and three pm, but you’ll need to pick me up from Anouk’s place which is a one and a half hour drive away so you’ll have thirty minutes free.”

Amiable personality type

“The most calm, flat-type personality. Amiable types are laid back and are hard to excite. They seem to constantly be relaxed and desire a peaceful environment over anything else. They will go out of there way to to upset people. In fact, their indifference can often upset the people they are trying to appease.” Source: 

Dutch men in serious relationships fall into this category. Having been raised by bossy Dutch women, when in a relationship, the Dutch male lies on his back and allows his partner to metaphorically tickle his tummy. Take a walk through the Albert Cuyp market on a Saturday morning, or the V&D or the Bijenkorf. There you’ll see the Dutch male behaving like one of those drug sniffing dogs that you see at airports, running from bag to bag at the behest of its master. If the Netherlands really want to win the next world cup, they should hire a female manager. I guarantee that eleven Dutch men will do everything as instructed by a woman, to the letter, it’s in their genes.

 

Expressive personality type

“Natural” people persons. They enjoy socializing and talking. They are great storytellers and often over commit themselves by attempting to please people. They also are good at communicating vision, getting others excited about ideas and issues. However, they sometimes cannot be relied upon to get things done. Source: 

Dutch makelaars. They know how to tell a great story. “You’re concerned about the apartment being on the fourth floor with no lift because you’re eight months pregnant? It’s not a problem at all, most Dutch women have their babies at home anyway, so there’ll be no need to go up and down the stairs when the baby arrives. Just think how quickly you’ll lose the extra weight after the birth, having to go up and down those stairs with a baby and a buggy.”

Dutch makelaars, specialising in expat rentals are great salesman, and incredibly friendly and enthusiastic, but once you’ve moved in, forget about bothering them with minor issues such as gas leaks, power cuts or mice infestations.

 

No bossy Dutch women were hurt during the writing of this post.

For more wisdom on all things Dutch read the following books available from this site and from Amazon, Apple Ibooks and of course from this site. The Shallow Man can be heard every Friday morning between 7 and 9am on English Breakfast Radio.