Tesla To Release the Model IK For the Dutch Market
Latest Tesla Runs on Self-Entitlement
January 25th, 2021
PALO ALTO, Calif. – Tesla Motors announced today the release of the Tesla IK which features new innovations and options, but only in the Netherlands. It will run entirely on the sense of self-entitlement of the driver. Which in the Netherlands means that the car will have a driving distance of thousands of kilometers without needing any form of battery charging.
“The Tesla IK’ also known as the ‘corona is wel serieus maarrrrrrrrrr’ model is the first and only of its kind: an electric sports car with exhilarating performance, zero emissions and gorgeous looks, powered by the infinite supply of self-entitlement of its Dutch driver,” said Tesla Vice President of Communications, Jeroen van Strakker Broek. “This latest version embodies Tesla’s commitment to constant improvement.”
New options and enhanced features of the vehicle include:
- Exclusive colours – Bill Gates Blue, Big Pharma Grey, It’s Not Black it’s Soot and Paracetamol White
- A rear snow cover and improved motor and inverter systems for even better performance when driving on roads made wet by police water canons
- Waterproof seats in case you jump into the car following being sprayed down by the kut police
- Tinfoil hat to block 5G transmissions
- Xenon headlamps ideal for lighting up the road to enable rioters to see which stores they’re looting
- Advanced computer systems that include an alarm that can be set to remind the driver that it’s time to break the curfew
- Large boot, perfect for storing bricks, petrol bombs, fireworks, pepper spray and any other essential items required for ‘peaceful demonstrations’
- Complimentary cheese is provided with each purchase to complete the whine that will follow being hit by the police while illegally demonstrating
- There’s also an ‘Urk edition’ This will be more aggressive and have limited intelligence (AI) to better match owners in that region
Tesla’s goal is to accelerate the world’s transition to electric mobility with a full range of increasingly affordable electric cars.
No self-entitled peaceful demonstrators were hurt during the writing of this press release
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