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One In Eight Dutch Drivers Text While Driving

One In Eight Dutch Drivers Text While Driving

What an incredible week it’s been for shocking news. Firstly, the Centraal Bureau voor de Statistiek (CBS) published a report that one in eight Dutch drivers text behind the wheel. But that was nothing compared to the other amazing story that King Willem-Alexander was not as previously suspected a member of the long-term unemployed. In fact, he’s been piloting planes for KLM for years! I mean like wow! Drop the bitterballen, that really is earth shattering, astounding, epic, global headline news!

All over the world people have been asking themselves, “Does the Netherlands have a King? I wonder if he smokes weed?”

That his majesty has been flying the hoi polloi on KLM didn’t surprise me at all. I remember being on a KLM flight once from London and the pilot said, “in a moment, well be landing in RRRRRRRRRRRotterdam.” Clearly, only a member of the Royal family (or a social climbing hockey player) could roll their r’s like that.

King Willem-Alexander
Unlike my father-in-law, when I’m flying a plane the passengers disembark after it has landed

Only one in eight Dutch drivers text while driving

However, I digress. So one in eight Dutch drivers texts behind the wheel. The only surprising thing here is that the figures are so low. It’s fabulous when you’ve been forced to drive into the provinces by your Dutch girlfriend and have to stay at 20km per hour due to the driver of the car in front exchanging critical messages with their partner.
“Ja Anouk, ik heb de condooms.  Wat? Maat XL heb ik niet nodig.  Ok ik ga naar huis.” /”Yes I have the condoms. What? No, I don’t need size XL, Ok I’ll go home then.”

female butcher
Anouk had great expectations

 

Dutch drivers text while driving
“Jeroen our relationship is over. What do you mean you want petrol money?”

What about cyclists?

I was also sad to see that the CBS study only focused on car drivers. Surely they should have surveyed cyclists too. The results would have been somewhere in the region of seven out of ten cyclists text while on a bike. This would increase to nine out of ten in Amsterdam. When out cycling here I often feel unique as I appear to be the only person in the city that not only uses lights on my bike at night but also cycles across town without having to check my smartphone.

banner dl

Cycling with one hand a common sight in Amsterdam
How to flirt with the Dutch, call them James Bond
The Dutch James Bond deep undercover

 

Texting while driving is a human right

People throughout the world envy the many freedoms that people have in Dutch society. Not only same-sex marriage, or being able to be as rude as you like to people while calling it ‘Dutch directness.’ One of the other freedoms that are inherent to the very fabric of Dutch society, is the right to like the Instagram photo of your favorite Dutch fashion blogger, posing in ripped jeans and black and white sneakers while driving at 130 kilometers an hour on a highway. En goed zo!

No texting motorists were hurt during the writing of this post.

Until next time, keep your eyes on the road while driving, Anouk or Jeroen can wait!

 

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self confessed Shallow Man . Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam for over 11 years, and due to Brexit may soon be applying for asylum. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos, and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands

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  • Stuart

    IF only he had flown an Easy Jet plan I would be able to say I might have been on one of his flights. But I guess he would never fly Easy Jet…. even though they have a lot of orange.