Life in the Netherlands through the eyes of a sarcastic expat

Welcome to the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man. Since 2013, the shallow man has been commenting on life in the self titled, most tolerant country in the world, the Netherlands.

Warning, this site has no fluffy content

If you’re looking for lovely, fluffy, cuddly, content, about how wonderful it is living in the Netherlands. Or would like to hear about the joys of cycling, and how Dutch people like eating stroopwafels, then this isn’t the site for you. If you’d like to know about the Stuff Dutch People hate, the oddities of Dutch fashion, or how to date the Dutch, then you’re at the right place.

With over 18,000 followers on stalkbook, sorry I mean Facebook, the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man, is a much despised, but essential reference to life in the Netherlands for expats, visitors, and open minded Dutch people, curious to gain a different perspective on life in the Netherlands from a foreigner’s point of view.

Dutch sorority girls being annoying

A group of Dutch sorority girls having a quiet chat about the state of the economy

Life in the Netherlands

There’s more to life in the Netherlands than cheese, windmills, King’s Day and bikes. Find out why painting your face black, and donning an afro wig, can’t possibly be offensive in anyway shape or form.

Dutch culture 2014, hands off!

I look like this from going down a chimney

Learn why there’s absolutely no discrimination in the Dutch job market, and Dutch women are the most emancipated in the world, this in spite of having the largest number of women working part time in Europe.

life in the Netherlands

Rot op met je windmills

Geert Wilders the liberal

There’s no racism in the Netherlands


Dutch Fashion

Dutch fashion can be a shock to the uninitiated. When I first moved here, and witnessed the fashion sense of the Dutch, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Learn all about the peculiarities and deadly sins of Dutch fashion, and why denim, is almost a religion in the Netherlands. The never ending love affair of Dutch men with brown shoes, and the irrational fear that Dutch women have of hair dryers, is also explained.

Dutch fashion

Jeans and Birkenstocks, loved by the Dutch. She’s painted her nails so is probably a foreigner


shredded jeans

Ripped jeans are sadly unavoidable in the Netherlands

I also have some useful tips on how to dress like a Dutch girl.




Learn all about dating the Dutch. The love affair that Dutch men have with their wallets, and the risk analysis required when attempting to date Dutch women.

you make me a sandwich

Dutch women are emancipated

Working with the Dutch

Don’t fall for all this nonsense about Dutch companies having no hierarchy, and the bloody polder model. Find out what it’s really like to work with the Dutch.

Your essential guide to life in the Netherlands

Whether you’re an expat living in the Netherlands, or one of the many tourists, hated by the locals, (unless they’re staying in an Airbnb let,  then the Dutch will love you) then this is the website for you. It’s also popular, or shall I say tolerated, by many Dutch people too. Leuk!!! So without further ado, welcome to the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man.

The Shallow Man also hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands. Click here for more info.