An open letter to Domino’s Pizza

Dear Domino’s,

Firstly I’d like to congratulate you on your continued contribution to the employment of people in the public health sector. With the large amounts of sugar, salt and fat contained in your pizzas,  which contain up to four hundred calories a slice, you’re doing a great job ensuring that frontline nurses, doctors and heart surgery specialists will remain in demand.

Your organisation also deserves a pat on the back for its effort to adapt the menu to suit local tastes. Such delights as the shoarma or the chicken kebab pizza are testaments to your efforts to deliver food that appeals to all tastes. With this in mind, I look forward to the thick crust pizza topped with bitterballen or garnalen croquette.

It’s very clear that Domino’s is an organisation that is dedicated to fulfilling the needs of its customers. The regular users of your products, once they’ve been on your incredibly user-friendly website to place an order for the “product” are no doubt as anxious as a tinder user that’s liked the profile of a person that they find attractive and is nervously waiting for a response. Being focused on your customers, I assume that you must put your delivery drivers under considerable pressure to ensure that the artery blocking delicacies arrive as quickly as possible. Which brings me to the actual subject of this open letter.

I live in Amsterdam Zuid. Not too far from your branch in the Ceintuurbaan. My assumption that your delivery drivers must be placed under considerable pressure to deliver your cardboard textured pizzas is based on the following:

• The number of times one of your drivers on a scooter comes flying through red traffic lights
• Riding on the pavement at high speed
• Riding in the wrong direction on a bike path scattering cyclists like bowling pins
• Ignoring pedestrians at zebra crossings and just riding through at high speed
• Tearing around corners as if they think that they are auditioning for a role in the next Die Hard movie

The behaviour of some of your delivery drivers working at your branch in Ceintuurbaan is antisocial and dangerous. It’s only a matter of time before someone is killed, just so one of your lard arsed customers can get their tasteless, salt and saturated fat ridden Pizza delivered on time.

In order to assist your drivers, here are some helpful tips for them.

The gaps between pedestrians are not for delivery men to ride through at speed

When you see the Zebra crossing, STOP!!!

Not worth being injured for

No pedestrians were almost killed during the writing of this complaint, just so a pizza could be delivered on time.

Doe maar gewoon normaal!