Food Delivery Scooter Riders Have the Most Accidents

I hope you’re sitting down while reading this. In earth shattering news today, Velig Verkeer Nederland (VVN) have reported that food delivery scooter riders have six times as many accidents as other scooter and moped riders.

I recall the first time I had food delivered in Amsterdam, the delivery guy made a comment something along the lines of, “you’ve no idea the risks I took getting this to you”. After living in Amsterdam for a while I soon realised that he wasn’t joking. Food delivery people are bike lane terrorists, who appear to believe that they’re participating in Death Race 2000 or the classic computer game Road Rash.

The reality of food delivery scooter riders

Sound familiar?


Qualifications required to be a food delivery rider in Amsterdam

To be an effective food delivery rider you need to possess some of the following attributes:

  1. Be anti-social
  2. Be a frustrated stuntman or stuntwoman
  3. Enjoy the look of terror in the eyes of pedestrians while you ride along pavements at high speeds
  4. Be colour blind, perfect for ignoring red traffic lights
  5. Be able to shrug your shoulders and say “ja en?” When the food arrives destroyed due to riding like a maniac
  6. Possess no fear!
scooter rider accident

We’re too late, the Shoarma didn’t make it

Solutions not just polemics

Several political parties have suggested that food delivery riders should be forced to take an additional driving test before being allowed on the roads. Not a bad idea, but currently nothing has been planned for this. On a positive note, from April all scooter and moped riders will have to wear crash helmets and use roads instead of bike lanes, so at least they’ll only risk killing themselves and not cyclists.

No cyclists were terrorised during the writing of this post