The IND has announced a new points system for British people who would like to remain in the Netherlands after December 31st. It’s felt that this points system is the fairest way to ensure that people who truly love the Netherlands can be allowed to stay here and contribute positively to Dutch society and the economy.
Brexit points system explained
| Proposed Points System For UK Citizens post-Brexit transition. 80 points required to pass. | |
| Mandatory Requirements | Points |
| Believing that Zwarte Piet is black from the chimney | 10 |
| Agreeing that the Dutch are the most tolerant people in the world | 20 |
| Accepting ‘Dat was niet de bedoeling‘ as a reason for offensive behaviour from a Dutch person regardless of the situation | 10 |
| Financial Requirements | Points |
| Owning a property anywhere in the Netherlands outside of Amsterdam | -20 |
| Owning a property in Amsterdam | -40 |
| Having the 30% ruling | -50 |
| Renting an apartment within the ring in Amsterdam | -20 |
| Aanpassen aan Nederlandse cultuur | Points |
| Owning a bike or a bakfiets | 20 |
| Owning a deep-fat fryer | 10 |
| Refusing to apologise under any circumstances | 20 |
| Owning at least two items of clothing with leopard print | 10 |
| Owning several pairs of brown shoes or a backpack from Fjällräven | 10 |
| Owning a hairdryer | -20 |
| Wearing visible makeup | -30 |
| Being able to watch an entire edition of “Wie is de Mol?” without falling asleep | 20 |
| Has consumed XTC at a festival several times | 10 |
| Stating your opinion even if it’s not asked for | 20 |
| Giving up your seat on public transport to the elderly or to pregnant women | -20 |
The Brexit points system. How did you do?
Less than eighty points?
Sorry hoor! Time to rot op naar je eigen kut Brexit land.
More than eighty points?
Goed zo! Now learn to speak Dutch and remember that ‘here in Holland’ the Dutch are always right and you’re only tolerated, so know your place!
No Brits were hurt during the writing of this post. Happy April fools day!
I love your articles!!! Always soooo funny!!
Oh shit. -7!!
That’s so gooooood! Congrats Simon!! I am lauging in tears!!! ????????