The Lunacy of the Amsterdam rental market example number 10,001

Why do people complain about the Amsterdam rental market? If you have a high salary, a trust fund or a fat company apartment allowance things are wonderful! However, in the event that you’re just a normal person with an average income, then finding a decent place to live in Amsterdam is like being on a long train journey across the Netherlands with a bunch of people wearing leopard print, yes people, it’s hell!


Greed is good

In the 1987 movie Wall Street, Michael Douglas as Gordon Gekko gave a speech where he said, “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” He went on to make the point that greed is a clean drive that “captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind.”

This philosophy is alive and well in the Amsterdam rental market. Where today, I’ve seen an apartment for rent that has only eight square meters.


The motto of many Amsterdam landlords

Apartment for rent in Oud-West Amsterdam

In the Facebook group Woningen te huur in Amsterdam  an apartment is available in Oud-West for 550 Euros per month. It’s so tiny that even mice avoid it for fear of developing claustrophobia. Things have gotten so crazy in the overheated rental market in Amsterdam that landlords feel no shame in offering what would previously have been cupboard space as viable living space to rent. The apartment owner asks for a security deposit of 275 Euros plus a minimum rental period of six months.


Perfect for gourmet cooks

If you’re planning to be a future Michelin Star chef, then the kitchen provided is perfect for practising elaborate meals that require lots of complex processes.

amsterdam rental market diabolical kitchen


Romantic pied-à-terre

Perhaps I’m misunderstanding the intended purpose of the “apartment”. It could be aimed at wealthy business people that have incredibly petite lovers on the side. Instead of taking them to a hotel, what’s better than having a lovenest only a few minutes cycling time away from Leidseplein and the centre of Amsterdam? Nothing screams romance more than having a shared toilet and a room so small that an adult-sized bed would barely fit.

Best to have sex standing up in this room

Whatever next?

The sad thing about this place is that so many people are desperately searching for affordable accommodation that I’m sure it won’t be long before someone actually rents the place. The apartment building also has a roof terrace of six square meters. Perhaps the landlord can rent that out too with a tent and a portaloo.

No mice were hurt during the writing of this post.