Firstly, a confession. The Shallow Man has been on, and been the cause of several very bad dates. Difficult as it might be for you to believe, even I have made mistakes on the Dutch dating Safari. As a result of this, it has made me even more determined to share and provide valuable tips learned by me and some of my readers along the way, so that your own dates can run smoother than the finest silk.
In the Netherlands, using tinder has become even more common than groups of Dutch women shouting when out drinking and eating together. I see more people using tinder, than hordes of people standing in front of bars in Amsterdam smoking an endless number of cigarettes.
Online dating giants such as Lexa, Relatie Planet and Inner Circle must all be taking a big hit in terms of losing customers due to the popularity of tinder. Then again, dating agencies do often have incredibly complex terms and conditions that often entitle them to continue withdrawing their fees long after the member is dead, so perhaps not.
I recently reached out to my readers on facebook and asked for those who were willing, to share their tinder dating experiences with the Shallow Man. I have heard some incredible tales, and in several cases didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or reach straight for tinder myself. I’ve suffered, just so I can bring you these valuable tips, the things I do for my readers!
Tinder dating tips
The next time you’re at an eetcafe on any evening of the week, sit close to the door and at some point you’ll see the following. A man or woman, that walks into the bar while staring intently at their smartphone. They’ll then look around the room, then back to their phone, and then someone waiting for them will wave, and they’ll join the person waiting. There you have it a first Tinder date.
Being a fan of James Bond, (yes some men never grow up) I am giving the first Antelope I interviewed the pseudonym of M. Here’s her story.
Antelope M’s story
I have dated about 20 tinder guys and only 1 made it to the second date. I am realistic about finding true love through an app, the odds are definitely against me! Nevertheless I consider myself to be a modern romantic and finding a romantic partner for more than one night should be possible through modern technologies such as an app.
My first date was with a Puerto Rican guy, we had chatted a lot using the app in Spanish, as I speak Spanish as well. But when I met him, firstly I was horrified by the accent, which you could already consider to be quite a bad start for a first date. We went out for dinner and let me tell you it was the last time I had dinner with a tinder first date. Drinks are the way to go. If you are not yet familiar enough with someone, their manners can definitely scare girls off. He ordered a pizza. He took a slice of it, then rolled it up so it would fit into his mouth in two bites. The pizza was gone in 5 minutes. I did not even start at my pasta as it was still too hot to eat. To finish it off he took his glass of wine and drunk it all in one gulp. I had eaten about half of my pasta when he was already asking the bill. Obviously this didn’t lead to a second date. Perhaps I’m too choosy, but I’m convinced that if I keep trying, that I’ll meet the right man, via tinder.
Antelope C was on holiday in Spain, and as many people do, decided to check out the available tinder Lions in her vicinity. After several rounds of swiping, she came across a dashing looking chap, they were a match, and started chatting. Things seemed to be going well, and they agreed to meet for a drink. Upon sitting down and exchanging a few pleasantries, the charming Spanish gentlemen paid her this polite compliment. “I’ve always wanted to have sex with a black woman, it’s on my bucket list.” Rightly offended, the date ended abruptly.
The Shallow Man would like to point out that a common piece of feedback that he’s received about tinder dating, is the number of men out there who seem not only unable or unwilling to get over their ex-girlfriends, but insist on bringing them up as a topic of conversation. Or even worse, as in the case of Antelope C, who had been on several dates with a guy she met on tinder, he then kept telling her that he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing as he was still “friends” with his ex. Obviously a friend with added benefits.
Guys if you are not over your ex, but insist on dating, please keep it to yourself. Women can see right through you if you keep talking about how your ex is your best friend. It’s even worse if you start making comparisons about your ex with the girl you’ve only just met. Don’t do it!
One night stands, thank you tinder
A positive tale, the lady, who I’ll call J, actually met a guy that she hadn’t seen for over five years, thanks to tinder. Previously they were friends, and they’ve been on several dates now and things are looking good. Before reaching this happy state, J also went through a cycle of trying, loving, hating and deleting tinder, only to install it again, something I’m sure that many of you are familiar with.
She also pointed out something that I wasn’t aware of. Apparently it’s common for guys in bars (especially on a Friday night) after midnight to go on tinder, and look for drunk and hot Antelopes nearby. The result of this is often a successful (not sure for who) one night stand. Tinderella is alive and available in the Netherlands, on a Friday night in a town near you, apparently.
So ends part 1
In part two, I will share the tale of an Antelope who admits to having had eight one-night stands using tinder. Until then, for more real-life dating tales, read the Shallow Man Guide to Dating the Dutch. Available at the American Book Center and online from the Shallow Man blog.
No ex-girlfriends were hurt during the writing of this post.