The Expat lady strikes back
In the first part of this story, we met the expat lady and Koen, a charming man who believes in telling it like it is. In short, he’s direct and bloody rude at the same time. Here’s part two of our tale.
Sexting Dutch style
In spite of Koen’s obvious shortcomings, the expat lady found him to be entertaining company, and sweet in a bull in a china shop kind of way. He also made her laugh out loud.
A couple of days went by and she hadn’t heard from him, so she decided to text him.
Expat Lady : Hello Koen, how are you?
Koen: Ahaaa, you couldn’t get enough of the Koen
Expat Lady : I don’t know about that, just thought I’d say hello
Koen: You are regretting not taking the opportunity to have sex with me
Expat Lady: Regret, isn’t the word I’d use in this respect, but if it makes you happy to believe that….
Koen: There’s a Dutch saying in Amsterdam, once you’ve had the Koen, you’ve got to have more very soon
Expat Lady: Oh so you’re a promiscuous man then?
Koen: NO WAY! I’m two hundred percent hetero. Let me come to your place right now and I’ll prove it
Expat Lady: Oh dear!
Koen: You know that Koen has very big feet, and you know what they say about men with big feet?
Expat Lady: Big feet, low sperm count?
Koen: What do you mean? My sperm could swim the Atlantic.
Expat Lady: I’d really like to get that picture out of my mind
Koen: I’d send you a picture of my lul, but the smartphone camera lens isn’t wide enough
Expat Lady: ?????!!!! Â I’m not sure what a lul is, but don’t like the direction this conversation is taking
Koen: Sorry, didn’t realize I was speaking with a zuster, a Nun. I guess that means that I’m getting none then, hahaha
They texted back and forth for several days, and she did her best to keep the conversation clean. They finally agreed to meet for a drink at the bar and brasserie of the Conservatorium Hotel.
The first date
She decided that she wanted to make a good impression, and took her her time applying makeup, perfume, and choosing a classy but sexy dress. She color matched the shoes she wore with the lipstick she chose and felt that she looked stunning. This was confirmed by the reaction of the Uber driver who took her to the hotel.
As she entered the lobby, several heads turned to look at her. She took a seat in the lounge area and sank into a sumptuous leather sofa. The interior was breathtaking, floor to ceiling windows topped off with a glass roof. While waiting for Koen, she ordered a glass of Chablis. She was drinking this when Koen arrived wearing the same outfit he wore on the evening they first met. He awkwardly gave her three kisses on the cheek. As he sat down his face took on an expression of concern. “I’ve never been here before, this place looks expensive. I thought you said we were meeting for a drink?” Pointing to her wine glass she said: “this is a drink, it’s Chablis, and it’s delightful, would you like one too?” Koen was still taking in his surroundings. He didn’t appear to appreciate the stunning interior design and looked none too pleased with her choice of venue.
Pork is the aroma of romance
“When you said a drink, I thought you meant coffee, this place is over the top” A waiter appeared and asked if Koen would like a drink. He scrutinized the drinks menu as if it were a contract with the devil. His eyebrows narrowed as he took in the prices, he finally settled for a beer. Once the waiter had departed he said: “are you trying to bankrupt me by choosing this place?”. She chuckled at this, “Oh come on Koen, you’re a software developer for a Dutch bank, I think you can afford the prices here”.  He didn’t comment, instead, he looked at her properly for the first time since he arrived then said, “you know that you look very good, but there’s no need to go overboard in dressing up. All that makeup you’re wearing, it’s a little too much. There’s no need to try and impress Koen”.
“Why do you think that my dressing up is to impress you? I dress this way as it makes me feel good. I might have made an extra effort, aren’t you flattered by this?”
Koen continued to scrutinize her closely. “There’s an old Dutch saying, farmer Wim doesn’t need to put lipstick on his prize pig”.
The expat lady’s facial expression told him that he’d probably said the wrong thing. He quickly tried to explain himself. “Perhaps what I just said makes more sense in Dutch, but the meaning is that a beautiful pig doesn’t need lipstick”. Feeling as if she were having an out of body experience she asked him, “Koen, are you trying to say that I remind you of a pig?” His face reddening “Yes, I mean NO of course not, but having said that a pig is a beautiful thing you know?”
“No Koen I don’t know, please explain.” She crossed her arms.
“Well I mean, that a pig doesn’t care what people think of it, it just, I mean het doet gewoon, do you understand?”
“No Koen, at the moment, I believe that I’m having a drink with a man that has a pig fetish”.
“There’s nothing wrong with pigs. If the Palestinians and the Israelis would sit around a table with some beer and some pork, they’d be able to get their shit together”. Â At this the expat lady laughed until her ribs hurt, while Koen sat there, feeling a little hurt by her raucous laughter. “I meant that metaphorically speaking,” said Koen, realized why she was laughing so hard.
“Koen darling, let’s just forget this conversation happened and start again ok? No further mention of pigs for the entire night”. Koen saw an opportunity and grasped it. “Did you say night? So we will be having sex later, Koen wins the prize!”. He raised one of his hands in the motion of a high five.  She took his hands and gave him a sultry look. “Yes Koen, tonight we will be having sex, just not with each other”.
The last of the Dutch gentlemen
Koen asked her about her job. She explained that she was a Director for a consultancy firm. “So how many days a week do you work?” he asked. She explained that she worked five days a week. “Oh so how many hours a day then? Three or Four?”
“Well my contract says forty hours a week, but in reality, I work at least sixty”. Â Koen appeared to be shocked by this “Do you know that in the Netherlands you have a legal right to work part-time?”. Â She explained that she wouldn’t be able to do her job on a part-time basis, nor would she want to. “Well, I guess you’re too old to have children so work lots of hours to compensate”. Not sure if she should slap him for his rudeness, she took a different tact. “For an IT person, you appear to be not very well informed. Many women are having babies at and over the age of forty nowadays, it’s also possible to do things such as having our eggs frozen”. In a booming voice, Koen replied “Is that why you are so cold towards me? Are your eggs cold? Hahaha” It was at this point that her patience had reached its limit.
“Ok Koen, I’ve no idea if the sure path to a Dutch woman’s bed is littered with insults and putdowns, that might well be the case, but as you know, I’m not Dutch, and I refuse to tolerate what I consider to be childish comments and rude behavior”. He considered her words for about thirty seconds then said “I’m Dutch and we are just direct you know? I don’t mean to be rude. I thought Princess Diana died many years ago but she’s sitting here with me right now, so SORRY PRINCESS”.
As soon as he said this, he realized that he might have made things worse, and surprised her by apologizing. “I’m sorry, I just get a little nervous around beautiful women in makeup and you’re so well dressed, you like a film star”. Now smiling the expat lady spoke in a soothing tone of voice “now Koen, that wasn’t too hard, was it? You actually paid me a compliment”.
Indecent proposal
Koen wasn’t too pleased that his date decided to stay and eat at the hotel’s brasserie. When it was time to get the bill he decided, to be honest (and polite) with her. “Listen, I’m doing my best not to say the wrong thing here, so bear with me a moment. Now the bill is pretty expensive, especially as you kept drinking wine and ate a starter and dessert. So what’s normal here in the Netherlands is that we go Dutch. On the other hand, if we are going to have sex after this then I don’t mind paying as then it’s a good return on my investment. So what do you think?”
What would you do?
How would you react to Koen’s indecent proposal? Please answer on the discussion forum for this post below. The best answer wins a prize, I’ll give away a copy of the Amsterdam Confessions of a Shallow Man or the Shallow Man Guide to Dating the Dutch to the person that comes up with the best answer. The chosen response will also be included in the next part of this story.
The things I do for my readers!
Koen sounds like a horrible person. Aw well, every culture has those. But at least he’s graphic in his descriptions, convincing me that I would have never approached that expat lady if I was the one sitting in Koen’s place. Why would anyone want to wear high heels? They are such a big turn-off, just like the entire prostitute-look.
But let’s assume that I was sitting at Koen’s place at that restaurant they met, I for some reason I can’t phantom would have been interested in her, approached her, exchanged numbers (which could be tricky since I don’t own a mobile phone), and that we would have agreed to meet in that posh hotel (why would we meet there at all? I would have preferred a normal pub, not some outrageous place as is described here). My first reaction wouldn’t be that different from Koen’s: I would feel pretty uncomfortable there. Maybe I would have one drink with her, although if she dressed up like is described here I probably would have cut the date short and left her. But after one drink I would definitely suggest another venue.
Ok, let’s assume I for some reason would still like her despite her being dressed like a money tree and sitting in Scrooge McDuck’s lunchroom, and agree to have dinner with her. I would keep my part of the bill low, and when it’s time for the bill I would grab my wallet and lay only my part of the bill on the table and assume she would pay her part. If she starts to argue, I will ask the waiter to split our bill, pay my bill, and leave her.
If I think about this some more, I really can’t see any way this date would have gone right with me in Koen’s place. I’m just speaking as a regular Dutch guy :).
LOL Gerard, thanks for proving that guys like The Koen do exist. I think the both of you will be best buddies. And that’s not a compliment!
And thanks for proving that ladies like the expat lady really exist. That’s not a compliment either.
Best comment ever
Thanks!
I would play along and tell him: “pay for this one Koen, it will be worth it laater” and give him a look like this 😉
Would come to his place and go straight to bed. Probably I’d unbottom his pants on the elevator, so that he thinks “No one can resist Koen’s magic babe”.
And now I write in present tense..
After the act my cellphone, previously left on the night table rings… Koen asks “Who’s calling you at 2am? I thought you didn’t have friends at all… Or is it a booty call?”
So I respond: “Actually it is Koen. Your first perception wasn’t wrong. Im not only an expat, Im also a prostitute. Koen’s magic is for free.. Magic for Koen has just cost you a fine dinner… And €200”.
Koen was left alone in his room. The expat set the time with her next fake client in her way out of the apartment. The naked Koen listened to the conversation. Magic fade away.
Florencia uit Argentinië 😀
LOL!!!!!!!!!!
This poor lady has terrible luck with Dutch men. I honestly cannot fathom being this rude to a lady and this.. out of my element. Having lived in the country all my life I can report that a significant portion of Dutch men are (a bit) better than this.
Koen is something you should experience every once in a while, I think. He has to be seen to be believed.
Why?
I had a dutch guy tell me on the first date when we went out drinking and we were pretty drunk, “Youre drunk and im not even taking advantage of you, thats how nice i am.” (thanks, prince charming!) which my reply was, you couldnt even take advantage of me if you wanted to. The accousted look on his face was priceless.
Dutch men arent known for their charm but not all dutch men are like this. They can be pretty bold sometimes but just like in any country you have assholes and you have good men.
Oh dear!!! I think I am in love with THE KOEN…just for the fact that he talks about him in the 3rd person..I would just simply return the favor and insult him back and see how he would take that. For the reaction about the bill- I would ask him to pull down his pants and show me what he’s Really working with and if the big feet thingy is not a myth 🙂
I’m actually amazed that she stayed till the end of the dinner. A few insults like that should’ve been enough. However, for a good revenge to his slightly barbaric flirting could be the following:
You let him pay for everything giving him the promise of sex, without specifying the time/date exactly (this is important). Then when you are at his house say you just got your period. If he says that you promised, you can say that you did but never established when. To get out of the situation you can finish it up saying that you feel very sorry about it and to make it up to him you will send him an XXX style photo once you reach home. He will happily accept and let you go. Once your at home, you send him a photo of a pig in a bikini and tell him to ‘Rot Op!!’. because its the Dutch way.
Dear Koen, surprise…let me get this bill for you, this one is on me and i had a great time with you. Thanks for joining me for drinks and extending it to stay longer for dinner. And that saves you on investment, which you can spend something worth…. just walk from here and use at what foreigners link amsterdam with, ofcourse that is not me as i live here now, but red light area is very nice place to be, isn’t it? Good night, have fun ! 🙂
The Expat lady then decided to go Dutch, and go with the Dutch. In their previous date he had mentioned that the make-up and high heels confused him into thinking she might be a prostitute, so she thought this would be her chance to prove him wrong.
Once at his place she confessed that she had never tried anal, Koen was beside himself with glee, until he saw the massive strap-on the Expat lady pulled out of her very trendy bag…
must say, something similar happened to me when I was very sick, and this acquaintance guy offered to drive me to the hospital, adding ” only because I really like you, otherwise I would NEVER do it” – such humanitarian…
I think the expat lady had a few Chablis to survive this date and that’s why she is quite tipsy when the indecent proposal occurs … So she thinks: “Hmmm, I’m interested if his lul (lol) holds what he’s promised. And I’m alone anyway.” So she lets him pay for dinner and follows him into his flat to get the whole show! OMG, I’m already excited what awaits her there, in the hole of the lion!
To be continued???
This will definitely be continued, with an outcome that you might not expect…
P.S. To be honest, it never happened to me that the guys were offering to split the bill. Sometimes, we were agreeing that he pays now, I pay the next time, but never splitting.
She could have offered to take the bill and then to mention that actually she now wants her wishes to come true… That sex is going to happen, but according to her rules. Koen would get scared (out of the experience) and would come up with the story of his two cats missing him at home. The next time he would probably use a different approach to a female, but still would keep on messaging the lady from time to time… Though would never dare to meet her again.
LOL!!! good one! You’ve given me an idea.. 🙂
Usually the more they talk the less they have to offer 😉
She should accept the offer, sleep with him… then tell him she was planning to sleep with him anyways 🙂
A real expat-dutch date cliche indeed. Happened to me but not that bad… hahah
Well I supposed that she was a bit nasty if she met with him anyway after those texts (it sounds unreal because you made her smart and the difference between them is planetary but I’ll just go with it) So in my opinion (crazy mind) I would prolly pay the whole shit (I wouldn’t have to say twice because he would immediately accept of course) , play him more, make him give me head(if he looks good! important) just for the (casual) fun. Nothing else. Maybe send him to the red light with a tip? Mos def. Never hear from me again? Mos def. You’re welcome.
Well, she may play along and go for a one night stand just to see if all that fuss was worth the trouble.
a normal woman would never sleep with that guy, ever…
So, how would you respond to Koens indecent proposal? Would you see him again?
Nope. I imagine the Expat lady would choose to “Go Dutch” on the meal and never be subjected to Koen’s use of referring to himself in the third person again. Being a successful, professional, forty-something divorcée (God knows what she went through in her previous disastrous relationship), she probably would opt to take the logical approach and freeze her eggs. She’s not a prize to be won, nor does she have such low self-esteem to trade sex for a meal spent with the man complaining about prices.
On the way home, still walking because she has not invested in a bike to slim her bum, she stops by a sex shop to purchase something ribbed for her pleasure.
Fin
I wouldn’t be there for date #2. Or for much of date #1. Why would anyone want to see such a creature again!?
Entertainment and shock value?
as the dutch say, AFKAPPEN
I’d propose to pay the whole bill and add that Koen can still hope for sex this evening. Then suggest we go for a walk, before heading home. While walking “accidentally” stumble upon Red Light District. Then i’d take out a 50 euro bill and give it to Koen, pointing at any of the windows and saying “This is where sex with women (and not only) is for sale” and i would just walk away. For a working expat lady these expenses are not big money but a great spend to teach such jerk a lesson 🙂
haha brilliant!