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The Survival Guide to Dating Dutch Women

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Dating Dutch women a survival guide

A wise man, indeed some might even refer to him as a Shallow Man, once said the following. “It’s easier to climb Mount Everest than dating a Dutch woman as an expat.” Dutch women, I love you so much that you’ve driven me to writing poetry.

The hair might be wet worn without a hat
reminding me of the glistening body of a wet rat
denim is perfect for all seasons
you dress to be comfortable being one of the main reasons
you always seem to choose
dull looking clothes and dangerously flat shoes
but hey I’m not being rude just direct
and that Dutch women are beautiful is certainly correct

A Brazilian lion by the name of Gustavo approached the Shallow Man looking for help on dating Dutch women. Like a lot of expat men new to the Netherlands, he has made a number of mistakes when attempting to woo Dutch women.

Brazillian man
How could Dutch women be cruel to this man?

The following video shows some of the common mistakes made by expat men when wooing their Dutch female prey. Learn from the mistakes made by Gustavo, and the Shallow Man guarantees that a pair of female cut jeans will be lying on your bedroom floor quicker than it takes to say “emancipatie”

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No submissive men were hurt during the making of this video

 

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self confessed Shallow Man . Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam for over 11 years, and due to Brexit may soon be applying for asylum. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos, and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands

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  • Sarah Jackson

    My God, Shallow Man – really?? Are Dutch women that combative, unsubtle, and generally grumpy?? That’s SAD! 🙁 No wonder you feel cynical after living there for a while!!! I mean, that Brazilian is adorable and a complete gentleman. He deserves to be treated better than that!!

    • Veni Vidi Vici

      Liberal drug laws, the saving grace of the Netherlands.