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Geert Wilders Call For A Ban of Zwarte Piet

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Geert Wilders Admits That Zwarte Piet Is Racist

In an interview that will shock many, Geert Wilders the founder, head and deputy head of the anti-Islamic party the PVV has admitted in an interview that Zwarte Piet is racist. His admission has left many of his followers in shock. Speaking in an interview with a local krant, Geert Wilders explained his change of mind as follows:

“His appearance makes no sense to me”

“Like 99.9% of Dutch people, I was always convinced that Zwarte Piet couldn’t possibly be racist in any way.  We Dutch people might not have invented blackface but my god we were proud of it. I thought that Negers in the Netherlands were just complaining in the hope of getting some form of financial compensation from hardworking native Nederlanders”.

Zwarte Piet is racist
“I was wrong about Zwarte Piet all along”

Revelations

However, recently, I had to move to a new safehouse. (Geert Wilders is under constant Police protection for criticising Islam). It didn’t have proper central heating, only an old-fashioned coal fireplace. I asked one of my bodyguards (who happened to be black) to light a fire. Being a well-integrated neger he told me to rot op and do it myself. While trying to light the fire I got covered in soot and you know what? My hair remained (fake) blond. It didn’t turn into an afro nor did my hair look like Michael Jackson’s on the cover of Thriller. My lips didn’t turn red and my white skin only had streaks of soot, it wasn’t solid black or brown.

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His hairstyle influenced the look of the modern Zwarte Piets
“Two black people applied for our jobs”

One Love

“It occurred to me that if I Geert Wilders could be covered in soot yet still remain obviously white, that the story told to me by my parents about Zwarte Piet being black from the chimney WAS A LIE!! What else did they lie to me about? What if Islam isn’t an evil ideology and is, in fact, a religion of peace? I’m shocked to hear myself say this but if soot doesn’t turn white people black, then in fact, Zwarte Piet is racist. I want to apologise to all the black people who have been offended by Zwarte Piet. I will be campaigning for the appearance of Zwarte Piet to be changed so that he will no longer be offensive to negers”.

“To my female voters of the PVV who are disappointed with me for pointing out the obvious, I’ll use the words of the great Bob Marley and say, no woman no cry. To my male supporters, I say this. One love, one heart, let’s get together and feel alright”.

 

No PVV supporters were hurt during the publishing of this interview.

 

 

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self-confessed Shallow Man. Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam since 2004. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands. He also works as a content marketing and SEO specialist.

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