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Using A Smartphone While Cycling To Be Banned In the Netherlands

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Smartphone use while cycling to be banned from July 2019

In a move that will enrage many, A Dutch government minister has proposed that smartphone use while cycling should be banned from July 1st 2019. This is, of course, a slap in the face to the social and love lives of many in the Netherlands. Minister van Nieuwenhuizen probably spends her life being chauffeur driven from one location to another. She’s forgotten what it’s like to have to rely on cycling as the primary method of transport. The proposal if it becomes law will ruin lives!

I asked several Amsterdammers how they feel about the proposed ban on the use of smartphones while cycling.

Smartphone use while cycling is part of everyday life

Anouk van de Dorp

“Oh, I think it’s terrible.  I just moved here to study. I didn’t cycle much in my village, I used to walk a lot, even at night as it’s very safe. Whereas Amsterdam is full of dark people, tourists and asylum seekers so I cycle everywhere to be safe. Especially after me and my sorority meisjes have drunk lots of vodka flugels and beer. It’s really important that I’m able to text my friends as I cycle home and tell them in excruciating detail every single thing that occurred during my night out. Even if we live in the same student accommodation and I’ll see them in about 20 minutes, which to a girl from a small village is a really long cycle ride”.

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Jeroen van strakke Broek

“How does the minister expect young Dutch guys to meet women? I mean Jesus! If I can’t use Tinder or other dating apps while cycling home after a nights drinking then I might have to behave like people did when my father was a young man. I might actually have to talk to women, OFFLINE! Nee! Zo gaat het niet werken! If there’s a population tekort (shortage) in the Netherlands in the next few years that kut minister will be to blame”.

smartphone use while cycling

 

Professor Fleur van Boven

“As a busy University Professor, I have very little time for relaxation. What with carrying out academic research, preparing courses and lectures the only time I have available to catch up with the Good Wife or Orange Is the New Black is during the rush hour while cycling to and from work. How dare the minister attempt to ruin an essential part of my routine by selfishly banning my ability to clear my mind before and after work? She’s OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE COMMON PEOPLE!”

Tilly van der Grot

“As a busy mom with three children under the age of five, I’m under a lot of stress. So it’s echt leuk to be able to get support and encouragement from my mama’s social media group while navigating my electric bakfiets through the bike lanes of Amsterdam. How am I supposed to cope if it becomes illegal? I mean by the time I’ve dropped the kids off at the nursery and school I’d have to go over 30 minutes without sharing my tales of being a struggling but hip mama with my group. Dat kan echt niet!”

 

I’ll be passing this feedback onto the Minister and hope it will move her to reconsider the proposal.

The things I do for my readers!

No bakfiets mamas were hurt during the writing of this post

 

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self-confessed Shallow Man. Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam since 2004. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands. He also works as a content marketing and SEO specialist.

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