What are Dutch People Like?

What are Dutch people like? This is a question often asked by people that visit my site, but before we get to that, I’ll begin today’s post with some good news. Yesterday, all of the boring people in Amsterdam could be found in one place, attending a conference on bitcoins at an ABN Amro building in Zuid Oost. Just like attendees of bitcoin gatherings, the Shallow Man can when pressed be a bit of a geek. Managing my own blog, I receive vast amounts of data every month from Google. This includes things such as the number of visitors to my site and more interestingly the search terms that bring people here. Below are some of the search items that led people to the amsterdamshallowman.com

  • what are dutch people like?
  • massage amsterdam
  • what are dutch men like?
  • naked netherlands women
  • Dutch girls
  • how do dutch guys flirt?
  • tinder only for one night stands
  • adam zoekt eva
  • dating a dutch man

As ever, the Shallow Man will do his best to answer the queries of his readers including those that might have wandered here via the all knowing wisdom of Google.

Massage Amsterdam

Yes you can have a massage in Amsterdam. It used to be quite common that some “massage” salons, offered extra services including a so called happy ending. Such establishments were breaking the law as prostitution is strictly licensed in Amsterdam. In recent years it’s become common to read about joint taskforces of Police, Belastingdienst, and employees of Amsterdam council raiding massage salons and testing for traces of sexual activity having taken place. If evidence is found, such places are quickly closed down. If you’re looking for “extras” there are plenty of red light districts in Amsterdam.

massage amsterdam is one of the most common search engine terms along with what are dutch people like?

I’m praying that he doesn’t offer me a happy ending

What are Dutch men like?

What a question. If I was to paint them with broad strokes, I could say, careful with their money, good business people, multilingual. Broadly pretty tolerant and open. Generally peaceful chilled folks, not likely for instance to start fights in bars after a few drinks. Great fathers who spend a lot of time with their kids.  Dodgy haircuts and an unadventurous palette. Difficult to get to know, but once you make friends with a Dutch guy it’s usually genuine friendship and not a superficial thing.


Naked Netherlands women

Use tinder, to achieve this goal quickly. Or visit a Wellness place.

Dutch girls

I have so much to say, but so little time. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Dutch women are beautiful. They are also pushy, and know what (and who) they want and are not afraid to hunt down the man (or woman) who they are attracted to. Dutch girls are often also loud, which can be traced back to them riding bikes in groups and holding shouty conversations while cycling. It’s especially lovely if you live in a quiet street and at 4am listening to ladies shouting at each other as they cycle past. Obviously I’m generalising, but these are my general impressions of them. Lie back and be hunted.

what are Dutch people like? Loud, very loud

What are Dutch people like? Loud, very loud

How do dutch guys flirt?

There are two schools of thought on this one.

    1. Dutch guys don’t know how to flirt as they’re used to having Dutch women do all the chasing. Dutch men think that inviting a woman back to their cave for a bit of jiggy-jiggy is flirting
    2. Dutch men are smoother than the finest Laos silk and have been badly misrepresented by bitter whining expat women and the Shallow Man
What are Dutch people like? Some say primitive man.

Now you’re back at my cave, don’t turn the heating up too high

Tinder only for one night stands

You’ve heard of baby boomers, generation x and millennials. If you receive a message from a tinder match between midnight and four am, particularly on a Friday or Saturday night, then you may end up producing what future generations will call, the tinder swiping babies.

Adam zoekt eva

Very poor Dutch reality TV show with naked participants desperate for their five minutes of fame. It should be renamed “I’d do anything to get on television”

Dating a dutch man

Once you get over the fiscal conservatism of the first date, I’m told that Dutch men are loyal and caring partners, even if the women do end up wearing the trousers and bossing them around.

What are dutch people like?

In spite of my fondness for sarcasm and taking well aimed digs at certains aspects of Dutch society, the Dutch are a bloody good bunch of folks. The average Dutch person is delightfully, and sometimes frustratingly self-centered, on the other hand, very few countries in the world give more money per head to charity than the Netherlands. Here are some observations based on my ten years here.

  • The Dutch are always right in an argument, and will always know more about the the country you’re from than you do
  • They’ll never stick their noses in your business and in my experience make excellent neighbors
  • They are incredibly self-assured something that is instilled into them from childhood
  • It’s rare that a Dutch person doesn’t speak at least three languages
  • They’ll always (In Amsterdam and Den Haag at least) want you to speak Dutch, but not with them as they prefer speaking English or don’t have the patience to listen to you speaking their language imperfectly
  • An entire country that dresses up in Orange and parties like it’s 1999 once a year is a great place to be

I can only speak from my own personal experiences, but as with just about everywhere else in the world, treat people how you’d like to be treated and you’ll find that the Dutch are great.

No owners of massage salons were hurt during the writing of this post.