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How to Dress Just Like a Dutch Girl and Make Friends

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The Shallow Man was recently approached by an expat lady, who in spite of having lived in Amsterdam for three years, still hadn’t made and Dutch female friends. Upon listening to her sad story it quickly became clear to me that the root of her problem was actually that she was simply too well dressed, and needed to learn how to ‘doe maar normaal’.  So I provided her with advice on how to dress just like a Dutch girl.

The things I do for my readers!

How to dress just like a Dutch girl part 1

 

The Shallow Man provided detailed advice on not wearing makeup, and the importance of leggings as pants. I also provided the expat lady with some additional fashion advice which can be seen below.

How to dress just like a Dutch girl part 2

I’m pleased to say that since the making of this video, that Stevie Long, the expat lady, can’t cross the street without Dutch women desperate to get to know her and become friends. The advice of the Shallow Man has been a huge success. If you need any advice on expat life in the Netherlands please contact the Shallow Man, and I’ll only be too happy to help.

No hairdressers were hurt during the making of this post.

Till next time, doe maar gewoon!

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self confessed Shallow Man . Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam for over 11 years, and due to Brexit may soon be applying for asylum. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos, and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands

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  • Valeriya Vergunova

    Lol I love it 🙂

    • Thank you my dear 🙂

      • Sweet Lemons

        Hi there! I thought your video was very funny, but allow me to make some remarks. As a Romanian girl living in Nl for the last 6 years, I wear make up, skirts and dresses. It is true many Dutch women make a title of glory out of never having had their hair dyed or tried on mascara. At my arrival, I was interrogated by Dutch people as to why I am wearing makeup and high heels?!! :)) Yet, in time I reached the conclusion that in my country women struggle basically their entire youth to stay very thin, dressed up and generally look impeccable to seduce some man. If a woman is not attractive enough-and female competition is quite harsh there-she will never get married. Seems to me the more you go to the East the stronger this mentality is. Perhaps women should focus less on being decorative, and more on achieving things in life by education and work. Dutch women are practical, industrious and independent. I admire them for that. Many times they also look very well with no make up since they have a natural beauty or simply because make up does not suit their features as well as it does on Eastern European girls. I admire them for being tall and athletic, and one can also say something flattering over the looks of Dutch men. 🙂

  • Amarens

    Just curious, what part of the Netherlands so you live? Because I find Dutch people to be wearing waaaaaay too much make up.

    • merijn

      look at the title of the site to find out

    • Dutch women wearing too much makeup? Do you live in Het Gooi?

  • Inge

    Hi Stevie! Just a little tip: if you want to make Dutch friends, don’t mock their ‘fashion’ sense 🙂 that said, as a welk-dressed, make-upwearing Dutch girl, I want to be your friend! Even though I am a little hurt by the video – as I am on my way to work with wet hair. Maybe i should use my blowdryer more often..

  • Kim

    AAAAHhh nooooo please stop ruining this gorgeous young woman and her good taste in clothes! You really got me wondering, where on earth do you get the notion that Dutch women think leggings are pants? Leggings are NOT pants! Most of us know this. Have you been looking in some sh*thole little village such as Klazienaveen or something? :’) But seriously.. I know most Dutch ladies dress rather casually, but this is a bit harsh, Shallowman 😉

    • Janine Emily De Boer

      Indeed leggings aren’t pants!

    • Harsh? No, just observing 🙂

  • A dutch girl

    Yup. We love being underdressed and make fun of woman trying to hard to be pretty but never seem comfortable or are afraid to get their pretty dress ‘smudgy’ whilest sitting in the grass (for example). Oh, and we also love being some of the happiest people in the world 🙂 Uhm, and that we actually do something worthy with our lives while other women swear because their eyeliner won’t come up *&^%&^ perfect today.

    I’m glad you’re teaching expat woman to enjoy life more and take themselves a bit less seriously Shallow Man! 🙂

    • Moomoo

      Well someone is butthurt haha But you’re right – who wants their gf to look like an actual woman anyway! Go roll in the grass and feel happy 🙂

  • nico2000

    Shallowman is an idiot… She has no Dutch friends because she an annoying Amarican brat…. Nothing to do with looks…

    • merijn

      i bet you have lots of friends though

  • merijn

    haha wow she really looks dutch after this makeover!

  • Linda Kentie

    What a bull shit! We Dutch ladies love to look pretty with make up and dress very neat and chic!

  • Lisanne Hoogland

    Dear but ignorant expat girl.
    I am so sorry for you. Due to this video I fear that you will not ever be able to make a dutch friend. What dutch women really don’t like is generalizing. Maybe it’s because you’ve been alone the last 3 years and were lacking human contact that you’ve been so sensitive for shallowman’s advice. Or maybe you’ve lost your knowledge about English. Cause you obviously forgot the meaning of the word ‘shallow’. But there’s still hope for you since the Dutch are known for their compassion. Maybe someone will take you by the hand and help you out of your isolation. I wish you well and hope you will enjoy Holland.
    Love Lisanne
    PS Nice knickers by the way!

  • Recoloniser

    The real reason Dutch girls don’t use make-up is, of course that they don’t need it. As everyone knows, and the Shallow Man freely admits, Dutch girls are the most beautiful in the entire world. Why overdo it with make-up? It would only detract rather than enhance the dazzling beauty of Dutch womanhood. After all, you can have too much of a good thing and as my Granny told me: everything with “too” in it is not good.
    And this video is a good example of the principle. This girl, though having the misfortune to be born American, has obviously benefited from the hale Dutch air by becoming very beautiful too. And lo and behold! The more make-up she removes, the more her own natural beauty shines forth!
    Yay for Dutchness!

  • Recoloniser
  • Anne

    Complete recognition! Missed the jogging without a bra though 😉

  • Mike Voss

    What a lot of bullshit! This girl was absolutely beautiful and looked stunning before your stupid make under! Waste of time! Ik woon al heel lang in Australia en Hollandse vrouwen hebben heel vaak “blote billen” gezichten, veels te kort haar (ratte kapsels) saaie kleding. Mijn
    vrouw is in Nederland geboren en was 5 toen ze uit Amsterdam weg ging en spreekt nog vloeiend Nederlands! We zijn al 46 jaar getrouwd, ze heeft
    altijd make up op (verkocht Clinique voor 25 jaar) en ze kleed zich
    altijd heel mooi! Als ik in Nederland ben of Nederlandse vrouwen zie is
    het meestal teleurstellend hoe ze er uit zien!

  • Svetla MJ

    So volgens mij she needs to wear leather jacket,skinny jeans,converse all stars sneakers and aviator sunglasses and most important dye her hair blond or make some blond highlights..i still don`t understand why the Dutch women are not into natural hair..

  • Isabel :3

    Oh Oh Oh shallowman
    Look at the comment section
    You’ve done it again 😛

    • If by done ‘it’ again you mean stimulated an entertaining discussion. Yes, guilty as charged 😉

  • To be honest, she looks better after the make over than before. Hurray for the natural look!
    The only thing I don’t get about the local fashion here is the torn jeans, but well, I guess that will blow over in a couple of years (and return in a few more, I’ve seen it a few times going in and out of fashion already).

    • Maar Neen

      Are you serious?! Ze is sowieso mooi, maar na die make over ziet ze er onverzorgd uit. Zonde, als iedereen zich aan gaat passen aan de grauwe middelmaat.

  • Phantom

    Oh my god Stevie, whatever you do, do not make any criticism of Holland or the Dutch to their faces. NONE, fair or unfair, NO CRITICISM is tolerated.

  • Nick Schellingerhout

    The natrural look = correct
    wearing jeans and a normal shirt = Correct

    But trust me when i say that in the Netherlands leggings are not jeans.
    And no Amsterdam is not the whole of holland so, please do not bring up arguments that in Amsterdam you see it all the time.

    Real dutch woman dont wear leggins as pants.

    • clonazepam5mg

      they do, less in Amsterdam then in the country, even……..

  • Kevin Gulik

    Biggest piece of made up bullshit i have ever read in my life !!!
    Generalizing at its best, same thing as saying ALL muslims are terrorists or that all Americans are fat. Seen some good post from this guy before with some valid points, but this is just funny.

  • Pieter

    This is fun and quite accurate! Will watch some more of your stuff 🙂

  • Roman

    Hahaha 🙂 Of all the people in the world, an AMERICAN woman is representing ‘fashion’? From the land where the legging, universal white socks and universal sneakers were invented. Oh, and the McDonalds BMI. Did I mention the universal rugby shirt? Oh wait, that was the UK. Sorry….

  • Rocky Road

    The comments are amusing. People who do not recognize satire are funny!
    But there is a grain of truth in these video’s:
    If you want to dress and behave like a Dutch, then you conform to the “doe maar normaal” rule. Which is literally “behave normally” but actually means “behave like everybody else. Be boring and non creative. Or else random people on the street will give you angry looks.”

    We Dutch are no fun and we’re apparently very proud of it.