Speed dating tips

As Tom Cruise once said, “I feel the need, the need for speed”. Yes, the Shallow Man is hosting another speed dating event this Friday hence this timely post with some essential speed dating tips.

The things I do for my readers!

The Speed Dating Event

The event will be held at a cafe in the Pijp in Amsterdam Zuid. The concept is as simple as throwing some bitterballen in a deep fat fryer.

  1. There’ll be single men and women
  2. The women will remain seated and the men will  have three-minute dates with each woman and then move on to the next one
  3. Each dater will be provided with cards with a list of the names of the people attending
  4. They then have to place a tick next to each person they’d like the details of. If the person ticks their name, rejoice! It’s a match.
  5. The details of the matches will be emailed the following day.

A lot can happen in three minutes

cute baby asleep


Seriously though here are some speed dating tips.

1. Have a positive attitude

Positivity is infectious. Use your three minutes to exude positive vibes!

If your dating partner asks you “do you like it here in Amsterdam?”. Don’t respond by whining about the cost of living or the vast amounts of leopard print and Doctor Martin boots or the brown shoes blue suit situation. Nee! Doe het niet! Think of something positive about living in Amsterdam and if you can’t, lie through your teeth!  Here are some great examples:

  1. I love living in a place where I can get high just my hanging around the city center and breathing in.
  2. This is the most fashionable city I’ve lived in
  3. The Dutch are so polite. They’re direct, not rude!


2. If you’re a computer gamer three minutes can seem like twenty

If you take the time to explain the game you’re currently staying awake at night playing, your partner might ask the bar if they have any out of date cheese that they can consume in order to be put out of the misery of the conversation. Please don’t go into detail about the fantasy game you play, where after 1200 hours of playing you and your online friends are about to conquer a new kingdom. Don’t do it. In fact, it’s best to avoid the subject of computer games completely. 😀

3. Don’t talk about your ex

Singles at speed dating events are there for some fun and flirting. Talking about how your ex ran off with your Bitcoin which was down 5000% in value but was about to bounce back any moment won’t go down well.

4. Do ask open-ended questions

If you ask closed questions things can get awkward pretty quickly.

Closed questions examples

“Do you like it here in Amsterdam?” To which the answer might be “No I hate it, I only moved here because of my ex and he left me for a woman that doesn’t wear makeup and wears jeans and Vans sneakers 365 days a year, THE EIKEL”

“If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?”

“Is a threesome too much to ask for on a second date?”

How to flirt with the Dutch

A threesome? Gezellig!

Open questions examples

“You live in Amsterdam if you could live anywhere else where would you choose?”

“What’s your favourite thing to do during the weekend?”


5. Don’t be pushy

(Especially for the Dutch women attending 😉  I know that in social situations that a lot of Dutch women act as if they’re trained interrogators working for the CIA, but some people might find it off-putting if during a speed date you turn round and demand their telephone number, email address, Facebook details, Instagram account, home address etc. Be patient, at least pretend that you’re interested in the person not just their body 😉 The same tip applies to all the speed daters actually. 😀

Speed dating tips don't be pushy



No singles were hurt during the writing of this post.


To sign up for the event which takes place this Friday use the Eventbrite registration form below.