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Patronising things that Dutch Guys often say to Polish Women

Patronising things that Dutch Guys often say to Polish Women

Amsterdam is a city full of Dutch guys from small villages in the Netherlands who came to study and stayed on. After a few years in the dam, they often can’t resist telling expats how sophisticated and well-travelled they are. They especially love saying patronising things to Polish women. Which brings me to the subject of today’s guest blog post from the fabulous Maja.

 

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Village dweller no more I’m in a big city now

I had a colleague once, who liked to casually mention at any given occasion that he knew someone who used to live near someone who once spoke to the supermodel Doutzen Kroes. If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll know the type: hair dripping of Albert Heijn one litre hair gel bucket (op is op!).  A blue, slightly too small suit from Suit Supply, and brown shoes so pointy they have to be declared as weapons to airport security.

What is it with those guys trying to prove they are not from a lovely little village or town somewhere in Drenthe and claiming they are pretty much partly Australian/American/Canadian because they spent a summer abroad? Do you really think saying you once saw Jay-Z while on a bus tour around Universal Studios makes you cool?

Typical questions from a small town Dutch guy who has made it in a big city

I am a Kut Expat, the kind many small-town Dutch boys have strong stereotypes about, mainly because apart from that one summer at their relative’s house in Canada they never quite made it abroad. Actually, I stand corrected: they may have travelled to Thailand, but only to update their Tinder profile photos striking a tiger in Chang Mai sanctuary. Being Polish, here are some of the patronising comments I have heard from the oh-so-cool small town boys:

 

“How come you speak English?”

Well, Luuk, contrary to what you may think, we do have schools in Poland. And the interwebs.

Dutch guy asking if an expat speaks English
We Dutch speak better English than people in the USA and the UK

“Are your parents bricklayers? Can you renovate my house for free?”

Yes, we are a country of 38 million bricklayers and, after working 40+ hours a week in the office, I love nothing more but to throw on some overalls and plaster your wall. Or your face, if you ask me again.

woman pointing
Who’s funny? Not you.

“This is a Senseo machine. It’s like a coffee machine. Do you have coffee machines in Poland? Do you have kettles?”

I am not going to lie, electricity is new to me. What’s that bright sphere you use at night? Oh, a lamp?

Having said that, we do not have Senseo machines, no. Personally, I prefer a solid espresso to the mud water Senseo serves.

Cave woman and coffee
Polish Woman discovering coffee for the first time upon arrival in the Netherlands

“You’re probably only here to find a husband and stop working”

Fun fact: on average, 74% of Dutch women work part-time while 56% of Polish women work full time. It is not common in Poland for the younger generations to get married, buy a bakfiets and hope Jeroen or Baas will take care of the finances.

 

So, in summary, if you are a Dutch guy and want to make it big in a metropolis such as Amsterdam, make sure to:

  • Have a claim to fame
  • Mention living in an English speaking country (don’t mention it was for 3 weeks)
  • Assume your superiority over anyone who is not Dutch especially if they’re from Poland
  • Add more hair gel to the already greasy hair
  • Match your belt to your brown shoes.

 

No makelaars or salespeople were hurt during the writing of this guest blogpost by Maja Podlesna, @meanwhilein.places   majapodlesna.com.

About Simon Woolcot

Infamous blogger, annoyance and self-confessed Shallow Man. Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam since 2004. As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands. He also works as a content marketing and SEO specialist.